I always struggled to let go of people, especially, I found it harder of letting go friends than possible romantic connections.
Because there is an idea of a friend in your head, someone who shares the similar core values, someone with whom you feel seen, someone who could support you in your difficult times. Friends are supposed to be that safe place, especially friends with whom you feel close to.
Letting go is hard, and as I am letting go some friends right now, I hear a voice within “Are you sure this is not your ego who feels hurt? And what about forgiveness?”. Does forgiveness have to also mean giving people another chance? Can it mean simply forgiving them, sending them well wishes and letting go. When you notice a pattern multiple times, you don’t need to give people another chance, or trying to change them. You can simply let them go, no matter how much it hurts.
This new year for me is about attracting exciting new possibilities, new connections but to do that I have to free myself of what is holding me back. In his autobiography, “Greenlights”, Matthew McConaughey talks about how he spent his 20s and 30s removing conditions that went against his “grain”, and how he benefited from it. He then adds:
To create the weather that gives us the most favorable wind, we must first remove that which causes the most friction to our core being.
But it is hard. It is damn hard. Especially when you feel isolated, it becomes harder, because there is a part of you who doesn’t want you to be lonely. A part of you who is so triggered by boredom and loneliness. A part of you who uses the rational very well and tells you “ but you are a social animal, you need people”. But in those times when I struggle, I soothe myself by reading these wise words from Carl Jung, which is:
No matter how isolated you are and how lonely you feel, if you do your work truly and conscientiously, unknown friends will come and seek you.
So, it is time for me to keep doing my work and trusting that unknown friends are about to seek me, rather than trying to change known friends.
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